Almost an X-Man

Elevator Music/Going Rogue - Almost an X-Man Ep. 54

Encore number two is a story that is the equivalent of a sub-three minute song, so the boys blend it with encore number three for a medley of frivolity. Alison rides an elevator. Then, Dazzler and Rogue hit the club. Remember how Rogue used to torment Alison?
Plus: Hellfire Club dress code. Alfred Hitchcock. And the kiss of death. 
Intro and outro music by J. Cayo

All Night Long - Almost an X-Man Ep. 53

It’s only appropriate that we get a couple encore Alison stories in true Dazzler fashion. In this feature, Alison is up all night long with a little help from some friends.
Plus: How do you add extra verses to Stayin’ Alive? Remember skitching? And one more cup of coffee. 
Intro and outro music by J. Cayo

Closing Time - Almost an X-Man Ep. 52

It’s the Dazzler series finale! But every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. The spirit of the ‘90’s is alive, can the same be said for Dazzler?
Plus: The sound of Silence. An old flame of Alison’s returns. And Jonny Quest. 
Intro and outro music by J. Cayo

Dude, Where's Magneto's Asteroid? - Almost an X-Man Ep.51

Damn. Well, this issue certainly takes a ******* turn. In the penultimate issue of Dazzler’s debut solo series, we say farewell to a character we’ve known since the beginning. Actually, we don’t even get to say goodbye before they’re taken. Damn. 
Plus: Horses on the freeway.  Some schmuck named Jared. And surgical shotgun strikes. 
Intro and outro music by J. Cayo

Mad Daz: Satisfaction Road - Almost an X-Man Ep. 50

A VERY SPECIAL 50th EPISODE!!!
We've got explosions! We've got motorcycles! We've got beer! But we've also got The Beyonder... Again. Boo.
Plus: No Anya Taylor-Joy. No Chris Hemsworth. BUT WE GOT 50 EPISODES!
Intro and outro music by J. Cayo

Post-Make-Out Oral Hygiene - Almost an X-Man Ep. 49

Why? 
It’s the question the boys ask themselves many times while reading Secret Wars II, issue 4. I mean, they’ll do anything to get away from this issue; talk about a Fantastic Four movie, James Bond movies, a Northstar videogame, have a serious discussion about the perils of absolute power and stunted development...
Plus: Matt’s MARVEL CliffsNotes. R.J. uses Casino Royale lines on women. And nothing matters.
Intro and outro music by J. Cayo

Don't go into the Light, Rowdy Rowden Piper! - Almost an X-Man Ep. 48

Dazzler is taking her show on the road but while she does, a couple forces are conspiring against her. Scientist Rowden Piper has an axe to grind with Alison Blaire, seeking to restore his daughter’s senses by destroying the Dazzler.  At the same time, bounty hunter O.Z. Chase is closing in on his target, also Dazzler, who has a government bounty on her head apparently. 
Plus: San Diego is for ruffians. R.J. goes off the improvised rails. And Matt’s nightmare issue approaches.
Intro and outro music by J. Cayo

Charles is a Horrible Human - Almost an X-Man Ep. 47

Dazzler versus the X-Men?! Well, two of them. In this issue, Alison takes her first serious steps toward becoming the hero others imagined she would become. So why is she duking it out with other protagonists? Surely there must be some mistake, or another kind of reckless reason...
Plus: Sexy dodge rolling. A pommel horse. And Professor X is kind of a d*#k.
Intro and outro music by J. Cayo

Ghost(Friend) in the Shell - Almost an X-Man Ep. 46

Alison has another Scooby-Doo-esque caper on her hands. A visit to the home of a childhood friend turns into a thrilling mystery. Kinda. Maybe more of a horror slasher than a mystery.
Plus: Sega’s unreleased console. Channeling the spirit of Biggie Smalls. And everyone should stop using the word, ‘lovers’.
Intro and outro music by J. Cayo

The Deadliest Hobo - Almost an X-Man Ep. 45

Alison meets the most dangerous villain in the MARVEL Universe. Yeah, I said it. 
He makes Thanos look like Gordon Shumway. By comparison, he makes Victor Von Doom look as soft as a loaf of Van de Kamp’s bread. A man so sinister, Norman Osborn wears underwear with his face on them. 
Plus: Matt and RJ bask in the greatness of Tatterdemalion.
Intro and outro music by J. Cayo